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Wednesday 24, Apr, 2019

How to Have a Friendly Divorce

Is it possible to have a friendly divorce in Chicago? In other words, do spouses actually come to a joint agreement to end their marriage on terms that are favorable to both parties? While most divorces involve at least some contentious issues, spouses often are able to resolve these matters so that they can still have an uncontested divorce. In other cases, even when the parties disagree about certain terms pertaining to property division, for example, it may still be possible to go through the divorce process in a way that both spouses still remain on good terms with each other when it is all over.

Resolving your divorce in a “friendly” manner can be particularly important if you have minor children from the marriage and need to consider co-parenting and developing a parenting plan with your spouse. An article in Psychology Today addresses some tips for keeping the divorce process as friendly as possible, and we want to discuss those tips with you in more detail.

Work to Understand What Led to Your Breakup Without Blaming Your Spouse

It is important to avoid blaming your spouse for the breakup of your marriage. There are many reasons that marriages end, and often both spouses share some of the “blame” when all factors are considered. Regardless of blame, however, you should move toward an emotional and psychological place from which you can understand the reason that your marriage is ending without placing liability on the other spouse. Moving away from blame can help you to process the situation in more productive ways, and to avoid negative emotions like anger, resentment, disappointment, shame, guilt, and anxiety.

You should know that, even if you feel like punishing or spouse in the early stages of a divorce, retribution, and impulses toward revenge make anyone feel better in the end. In other words, avoiding placing the blame on your spouse actually can help you to cope better in the long run in addition to making it easier to work with your spouse through the divorce process.

Consider How You Can Learn from Your Mistakes

Even if your spouse cheated or engaged in other problematic behaviors, getting a divorce is often the best time to consider your own mistakes and to learn from them, as well. When you are angry at your spouse, thinking about your own limitations can feel defeating or even impossible. Yet considering how, for example, you might have been more open to compromise or more open to communication can help you in your next relationship and can help to keep relations friendly with your soon-to-be-ex.

Strive for Fairness in Your Property Settlement

Even if you want to try to hurt your spouse emotionally, in order to have a friendly divorce, it is important to work toward fairness—and not revenge—in your divorce settlement. If you know a specific marital asset has meaning to your spouse, you might consider offering it to your spouse so that you can have another asset of particular value to you.

Contact a Divorce Lawyer in Chicago

Your divorce attorney can discuss your options for working collaboratively with your spouse or, at the very least, avoiding a particularly contentious divorce. A divorce attorney in Chicago can speak with you today. Contact Arami Law for more information.

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