For many people in Chicago who file for divorce, there is a significant amount of relief when the divorce is finalized. At the same time—as with any other major life decision—there are often things newly divorced individuals wish that they would have done during their divorce or that they would have known. In other words, people learn lessons during their divorce about how they would have approached a certain issue or problem if they were to encounter it again. A recent article in Reader’s Digest collects some of these pieces of information from people who are now divorced. These individuals do not regret making the decision to get divorced, but they did learn lessons that they hope to pass onto other people who are at the beginning stages of the divorce process.
The following are tips from some of those individuals or things that you should know before filing for divorce.
It may seem like it goes without saying, but many people wish that they would have tried harder to maintain a good relationship—or at least a functional, working relationship—with their ex-spouse. During the divorce, many contentious issues can arise, from matters concerning property division to the allocation of parental responsibilities. When it feels as though your ex-spouse is being difficult or refusing to compromise, a knee-jerk reaction can be to get defensive or to be stubborn in response. In the long run, however, many people wish that they would have tried harder to compromise, both for themselves and for their children.
Divorce brings up so many emotional issues for so many people. For example, having to decide whether to sell a house that you and your spouse raised a family in can be extremely difficult emotionally. Even developing a parenting plan to allocate parental responsibilities can bring the realization that you are really getting divorced and that you will no longer spend holidays or vacations together as a family. However, inasmuch as possible, many recently divorced people wish they would have treated their divorces more like business arrangements.
The more you can keep your emotions out of the divorce, the easier it will be to think rationally about matters like property distribution and your parenting plan. In addition, treating your divorce like a business arrangement can help to keep these processes less contentious and may result in a greater willingness to compromise.
Many people who are newly divorced wish they would have filed for divorce sooner. Many individuals are scared to extricate themselves from a long-term relationship, especially when there are young children involved. However, staying in an unhappy marriage can be even more difficult in the long run. Do not be afraid to contact a divorce lawyer to learn more about your options.
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