Given that smartphones are now so prevalent, it is relatively common for one spouse to use the other spouse’s iPhone to make a quick call or to use an app like Yelp to find a new restaurant for dinner. Is it normal for spouses to routinely look through the email accounts and text messages on one another’s phones? For the most part, spouses tend to know the phone passwords of their partners, and there are no additional password protections for text messages or email accounts that are accessible on a smartphone. Is it ever appropriate to look at your spouse’s email or text messages, or is this type of electronic snooping an indicator that marital problems and divorce may be imminent?
According to an article in the Huffington Post, psychologists and marriage therapists suggest that it is never appropriate to engage in this level of snooping, and such behavior often indicates that there are bigger marital problems that are likely to lead to divorce.
Trust and Communication Problems in the Marriage
Have you ever snooped through your spouse’s smartphone messages? You are not alone, but the behavior may be an indication that there are significant issues in the marriage. As the article explains, people go through their partners’ texts or emails because they fear their partners are hiding something. However, psychologists emphasize that electronic snooping is only doing more harm to the relationship by creating more secrets. Indeed, sneaking a glimpse—or more—at the content of your spouse’s smartphone most likely suggests that there are serious trust and communication problems in the relationship.
According to Kurt Smith, a licensed therapist, snooping in your partner’s phone only brings more secrecy into your relationship, and such behavior is probably an indicator of a breakdown of trust in the first place. In other words, most spouses engage in this kind of electronic snooping because there are trust and communication problems, but the snooping only amplifies such problems.
Intimacy Problems and Fears of Cheating
Spouses typically snoop because there are already intimacy problems in the marriage, but also because they fear that the other spouse is cheating. Extramarital affairs are among the most common reasons that parties end up filing for divorce. Sometimes snooping into a partner’s smartphone can provide clearer evidence of an affair, but it often does more harm than good.
When one spouse violates the other’s privacy, it is not only unproductive but is a sign of much bigger problems in the relationship. In some cases, marriage therapy may help, but sometimes divorce might be the best course of action for the parties if there is no chance of rebuilding trust and communication.
Learn More From a Chicago Divorce Attorney
Making the decision to file for divorce is rarely an easy one, especially if you have been married for many years. Regardless of whether you anticipate a contested or uncontested divorce, it is important to have experienced Chicago divorce lawyers on your side throughout the divorce process. An advocate at Arami Law can answer any questions you have today and can get started on your case. Contact us for more information.